01
The money pattern
A new online connection should not need your payment
The FTC warns that romance scammers often build affection or trust and then ask for money. The reason may sound urgent and personal—travel, medical care, a frozen account, an investment or a temporary emergency—but the safest response is the same: do not send funds or payment details.
Gift cards, cryptocurrency, wire transfers and “small test payments” are not proof of loyalty. End the conversation, keep relevant evidence and report the account through the service and appropriate authorities.
02
The speed pattern
Fast intimacy and forced secrecy reduce your time to think
Be cautious when someone immediately describes the connection as destiny, insists that nobody else would understand or asks you to keep the relationship secret. Strong emotion can be genuine, but a scammer benefits when you stop checking the story with people you trust.
Slow the pace. Ask yourself whether the details remain consistent, whether the person accepts boundaries and whether you would make the same decision without the pressure of the live moment.
03
The platform pattern
Moving elsewhere can remove useful controls and context
A request to change apps is not automatically malicious, but urgency is meaningful. Scammers may prefer channels where reporting is harder, messages disappear or the account is disconnected from the original introduction.
Do not install software, share a screen, grant remote access or reveal a login code. A legitimate conversation can survive your choice to remain in the current room or pause until you have checked the request.
04
The image pattern
Private-image pressure can become coercion
Never send an intimate image because someone promises to send one back, prove affection or keep it secret. Once an image leaves your device, you cannot control copies, and threats to share it can become sextortion.
If someone threatens you, stop contact, preserve messages and usernames, report the account and seek local law-enforcement or specialist support. Do not pay in the hope that a copy will disappear. The eSafety Commissioner provides specific guidance on sextortion patterns and next steps.
